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Chapters of what the actual fuck #3. .
Chapter 3. Just as spun as you dear…
Night number two and she couldn’t sleep. It seemed to me like i could have ripped the paper in half and she would have been as spun as i was coming back from york when the whole trip swept me up.
At some point, we realized that Saturday was the end of the weekend. Call us quitters, but another night keeping up with the Willkesbear crew would have landed someone in the hospital if not a 10x10 cell for the night. Theres really no amount of cocainne that can ward off certain personality flaws. By this point our host had shed his scaley skin and the blood stains on the backseat of a trendy kia soul was more than enough to distract from what was and still is beautiful country side.
We tossed and turned that night, or morning rather, sweating out lsd and a few shots of water downed whiskey i had rustled up at the local dive bar.
One thing i will say. Willkesbear knows its music. Twangy real strings. Real voices. Real people. And, too much talent for a had been coal mining town.
Much love Pennsylvania see you soon:).
This guy got me..
Chapters of Appalaichia wisdom.2.
Chapter two:
The gnome found us…
We really went all in on that one it seemed to me. Lets climb the mountain. Literally they said. Ha.
Theres something to be said for finding a failed mission to be somewhat of a saving grace however. A reprieve from what would otherwise have been a wild goose chase.
You see the funny part is the people chasing the geese up front have no idea that the folks bringing up the rear had just watched that very flock fly accross the valley out of sight.
So, take it for what its worth you might not have a foi gras for supper, but next time we know to bring a shotgun.
Another half mile and we would have been toast, i mean spent.
I could tell that the balance we went once to seek had crossed the river in search of pennies floating down the stream. Little did my cohorts know copper cant float on most fluids, especially not H2o1.
Chemistry wasnt the problem here however, dont be mistaken. If anything you could argue it was the solution at the same time if not only that. Chemistry didn’t leave us stranded in the woods romping around slicing our toes across a jagged riverbed. We did that.
It was a good hike.. in my opinion.
Chapters of central appalaichia wisdom.
The shirt was damp on my face. A reprive from the cest pool of a guest room we had been stowed up in. The ceiling fan was trying, eeking out a breath of relief every moment or so. It just didnt make the ticket. There would be no more sleep on this, what was now a haf hour past noon.
Not here at least.
A band of Wilkesbear Pennsylvania gypsies had roped me into their circle…no questions asked. So there I lie on the floor keeping cool resting my weary head on a rolled up Walmart t shirt, waiting to eat the next dose of acid that would come my way. Expecting maybe just maybe id wander to cooler pastures.
That being said.
The host spilled lines of cocaine on the coffee table and at a certain point the chips either go on black or they go on red. Theres no playing the boardl in I my opinion. As a wise man once wrote buy the ticket, take the ride. And, as a lesser one wrote, if it finds you somewhere in the heart of the appalaichians sniffing white girl with people that are far too popular for their own good…
Maybe roll with the punches.
Keep your nose relativly clean.
Theres a meditation garden they say, maybe on day two we reach the balance.
I for one was at the mercy of a fresh wound. A new woman had swept me away. Just ask the Avett brothers…
One day your playing dungeons and dragons in the basement of a high school buddies and the next your a state and a half away fucking on someone else’s bed trying to see who can cum last.
I think i didn it..
Life takes turns for sure but sometimes it takes absolute skips. So i stopped asking questions and began listening to my answers. You may have to listen close because they could be a whisper only the Wilksebear air could tune in to.
Shes my favorite.
True love is when you spend the night crammed in a hospital bed with your favorite person keeping them warm while theyre sick even though you get no sleep and you have school and work the next day. I dont even know what id do without some of the people around me….
Fire and Rain
They asked for something to read and eventually I figured give the people what they want.
The hard truth of the matter was that through several weeks of eye opening revelation filled experiences the one overwhelming theme that dared show its entire face above the water was none other than doubt. It soon became apparent that all of this certainty I had found brought also to the table an equal sized and equally edible serving of doubt, and regret which regrettably metastasized into self loathing.
Essentially, on the one hand you have these miraculous moments of clarity that you want to believe with all of your heart. While at the same time the very things that become clear become shrouded by a dark fog and you or I or maybe both of us are left to sift through the smog and select which path we take when the road inevitably forks once again.
There were some things I knew to be fact. Like a christian school boy no amount of argument or logical reasoning could sway my stance. I had found my way here, with these people for some reason. Unknown it may be, it was a cold hard…. Reason. And furthermore, I was able to gather that the exact reason, as abstract or as precise it may be, was none of my earthly business.
So I figured at least I had some sort of certainty. A sort of homebase in which I could crawl too when the storm became to heavy. Somewhere I could go and know I’d be dry. That still didn’t do much good when you had just wandered miles away from home. Too far? Not far enough? I could never tell.
After only a day or two of rain I found myself singing a familiar tune and as i stood soaked to the bone trying to see the street signs that might direct me home I caught myself whispering, “I must be here, wet, for a reason".
This was my lesson… How to be wet. How to be drenched and still carry on. How to take that shit on the chin. The trick is, your clothes become too heavy usually. And provided it’s not too cold out and you’re not exactly self conscious you can strip down to your birthday suit and better navigate the storm. That must be where I am now, looking at my clothes and deciding if its worth it to leave them on the street corner and continue wandering home.
There’s only one problem with that type of logic. If a cop rolls past and you walking down the streets of Baltimore half naked you’re likely to catch a charge for indecent exposure. So tread lightly, and watch your back. Maybe you wander your way home maybe you wander even further. I’m pretty sure wherever you are you’re meant to be there. But don’t plop on my sofa with wet clothes pal, here’s a towel. Get your shit together.
25i Adventures
A few weeks prior we had been sold some gel-capsules with white powder in them. At a closer glance they appear crystaline in structure. My step brother, the hustler he is, makes claim that what I have in my hand is a single dose of crystalized LSD-25. Mind you the capsule is full up. Sooo. No way. Knowing what i know now, I would have never made the purchase. I was young. I was nieve. I still consider myself both of those things. Just a little more cautious.
So we throw em back.
3 at first and the next time like 5 or 6. All me and my two buddies Rob and Ryan.
We tripped balls.
I mean total visual stimulous all throughout. During parts of the trip, an episode of family guy thay had been giving our conversation background noise began to take over the animation of the room and i soon found my self in a Seth McFarlane original. The entire room was animated as if by family guy Ryan and Robert mine as well habe been Joe and Quagmire leaving me to be Peter (the chubby one). But, i dare not find a mirror. Not now.
Weeks later we caught up with the source of the mysterious narcotic now becoming very suspect of the appearence following a quick google search on real LSD. We cut out my step brother, the middle man.
Just a matter of money really.
Now we get some answers.
What we had eaten up was 2Ci. A mescaline analouge gifted to the world by Dr. Alexander Shulgin, the same chemist that synthesized 2Ce as well as 2Cb. They were all mescaline analouges and they were made with love.
This is where i drop a shoutout to a youtube documentary “Dirty Pictures”.
It gives a good perspective on what some of us in the scene may call research chemicals. Which can lead to a jump in conclusion. A swift, “ nope none of that here I want the real stuff!”
But in all fairness, 2Ci and 2Ce both of which ive had at least one or more experiences with are clean, real and psychadelic. In my opinion those particular analouges should be taken just as seriously. Just as LSD, DMT and Psilocybin.
Now thats just me ranting, sticking up for Shulgin whom I admittedly fan-boy.
So anyway, we meet the guy.
A ballroom dancing imigrant from Bellaruss with a thick accent.
He had managed to access the dark net.
What was at the time… The silk road.
This time around however all that was around were these colorful blotters. 25 i he called it.
Now according to wikipedia this drug was made in Berlin not as a mescaline analouge but rather as an analouge of 2Ci itself.
So, we were excited. This might be the bees-knees we figured. I mean the last stuff went down so easy and was so clean and trippy. How could 25i let us down. Maybe it would come to surpass some of our more profound LSD experiences, who knew? We were willing to take the risk though. We were on a mission of sorts following our dark lord Hunter Thompson, so fuck it buy the ticket right?
Despite a lot of bad hype the drug had been receiving in the news (rightfully so as it killed many young partiers often sold as LSD). We bought a decent bit and began experimentation anyway.
Myself and Ryan Lawrence ate three and two hits respectively. We decided on that fall evening a stroll through the Baltimore county local woods of suburbia. A general dumpster for the local townhomes that sorrounded the area as well as a playground for local delinquints. It was where you went as a young boy to shoot your be-be gun at cans because your stuck in some cookie cutter rowhome. In general the woods were an off limits area as kids. We on the other hand, were grown ass 16 year old men(laughter here) and we can conquer any woods, right, lets go.
As soon as the paper hits your tongue you know, and wherever it sits it leaves a spot of necrotic irritation. We must have dropped some time around five or so because by the time the sun had faded to dusk the visual stimulous of the drug had made itself aparent.
But rather than spit it out we leave it decay between our teeth and gum all night long until we eventually swallowed them.
Into the woods we go. As we walk along some familiar paths, trees in front of me become engrossed in a spell of entanglment and are entirely animated weaving a wall to block my path. I push on. One foot in front of the other and the hallucinations seem to quell themselves a bit. Still, the sky is glittered with unexplainable geometry I dare not try explain. We trecked off fhe path in search of a part of the woods that literally had no suburban build up. We were scrambling into the woods just to hide from the fucking lights. You cant get any peace and quiet anymore. So eventually we come to a sort of valley and we figure if we treck down this hill a little farther we could block it all out. Maybe take a second to relax and enjoy the overahelming visuals that had gripped us with such ferocity
It was probably close to eight o'clock by that point and there wasn’t much light left but there was some. What we stumbled upon next shook us both to the core. What we were actually starring at in reality was harmless. Some assembly of rocks that formed what I thought to be a pentagram was arranged on the ground and there were logs set up as benches around the perimiter. One of the logs had been hacked away and some additons had been made. Some childrens toys had been burned and nailed into the wood.
Now that I look back on it looks like a fort for a few twelve year olds. But at the time, we had stumbled upon Satans portal to hell and were exactly astounded. Mortified.
Immediately we both started experiencing auditory effects as if they were coming out of the woods for us. We were next.
We looked at each other and without words concluded our visit was over and embarled back towards the obnoxious light of the suburb and in a hurry.
So, heres where I throw in my two cents. In my opinion, having done both LSD and 25i (in addition to others) a good couple of times, 25i is just evil. Had my friend and I stummbled across the same campsite on an acid trip I believe we would have been inclined to stay and investigate even. Maybe try and understand the function of it. Anything. But no, we ran in fear. We heard scary things. We were tense. We were shaken.
The experience was valuable for curiosities sake but other than that I wouldn’t reccomend it. Besides that the drug was almost all visual and auditory. I experienced none of the unifying consciousness epiphanies I had so often on LSD. This drug to me was a knock off 2Ci.
As a matter of fact at a music festival in Maryland a few rangers had tracked me down to confiscate some 25i that i had bought expecting to be acid. They actually burned the 25i and tracked down the kid that sold me the stuff and got me a refund. The whole experience gave me some good insight on how 25i was recieved by those who had been around longer than me.
#shulgin
I never found it easy to be attracted to a vegetarian/vegan… Not entirely impossible. But, there’s just something weird about them. As if, they may be vampires of some sort.
Eat a cheesburger. Please.
Hold it in deep
Demetri
#DMT
#DMT
panatmansam
